A bunch of punks in Auckland have started a skate magazine called Muckmouth. Their website warns “If it still offends you… do not bother to complain as we still do not give a fuck about you”. Although I’d never heard of them until today their latest stunt is about to hit the international press (you heard it here first) because of this obscene sacrilege:

I can’t imagine Brian Tamaki’s following will take this very well, but no one has yet been killed for using his image in vein. On the other hand when Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten published 12 cartoons of Muhummad, their embassy in Pakistan was bombed. One 75 year old cartoonist will be in 24/7 police protection for the rest of his life because of the death threats and attempts against him.

What shocks me about these designs is not the derogatory way these figures are portrayed (haters gonna hate), but that someone actually pasted them up all around Auckland City:

Surely a poster which puts lives in danger breaches the advertising standards?

Lots of people seem to be heading to New Zealand for business and pleasure. While I’m sure you won’t get bored of the beautiful South Island, Auckland is another story. On first impression it can seem like a dreary version of Sydney with a slightly taller tower, significantly smaller harbour bridge and not a lot to do.

In reality Auckland has some great food, amazing beaches and lovely people. I am writing this guide so you can skip the dull bits and actually enjoy your stay in Auckland.

1.  I may be biased because I grew up here, but I think most people agree it’s a pretty great suburb which can be summed up in one word: gentrification. You can still grab a decent coffee at some of Ponsonby’s original grungy cafes, just look for arty names like Cezanne or Byzantine.

For the best food in the city go for Italian words; Bambina for breakfast and Prego or S.P.Q.R. for either lunch or dinner. One of the best things about NZ being a farming nation is even in the hippest part of the big city you eat delicious fresh (often organic) food. You can tell the waitress you liked your meal in Maori by saying “ka pai te kai” pronounced ”car pie tea k-eye”.

2.  About an hour north of the city are some of my favourite bits of the region. Goat Island has been a marine sanctuary since the 70s, you don’t have to swim very far from the beach to be surrounded by fish!

On the way there stop off at Matakana which is popular for it’s many vineyards and organic cafes.

3. Growing up I took black sand for granted, a whole side of Auckland’s coastline has it. After living in Australia for a while I have realised how incredible this phenomenon is. The best place to experience it is Muriwai Beach because you will also encounter spectacular wildlife such as the large gannet colony or seals.

You know how painful it is to touch a steering wheel when it’s been out in the sun all day? That’s what this sand is like, so wear closed shoes on hot days. Also remember to wear SPF30 sunscreen whatever the weather. Due to global pollution there is a hole in the ozone layer right above NZ. This means it’s very easy to get sunburned and the country has the highest rate of skin cancer in the world. If you want to undo some of the damage done to our environment consider donating to the NZ Cancer Society >

4.  If you want a Haka there are plenty of places you can pay to see one performed. However if you want to experience real Maori culture I suggest you pay a visit to this Marae which is used daily by the Ngati Whatua, my adoptive Iwi! Although not technically open to the public if you go up during business hours you may be lucky enough to find someone who is happy to show you around.

The land which it sits on has a spectacular view of Auckland, and an intense history. Remember no shoes!

5.  After a day exploring you may want to get into bed and appreciate one of the country’s finest talents… advertising. We must have easily won the most international advertising awards, per capita. NZ is particularly good at TVCs. To watch some fantastic ads tune into primetime telly like Outrageous Fortune which currently airs 8.30pm Tuesday on TV3.

Is there anything that needs to be added to this list?

Sad to hear the Goldstein ads are over, but there are a few funny suggestions on how to end his career >

According to Google people who end up at my site are usually searching for “Chatroulette boobs” and I hope those people find what they are looking for.

The people who spend the longest time on my site (on average 15 minutes!) are usually looking for cats. So below is a picture of a kitten I had called Maebe, so all you cat people don’t have to look so hard:

Pretty soon I will be getting on a plane to Europe so the regular service may be somewhat disrupted. But never fear I will schedule some themed blogs for while I am gone. I have also compiled a list of very talented New Zealanders who write about the kinds of things you find here.

For advertising lols I recommend a peek at the hashtag #overheardinthecreativedept created by the very lovely miss @bexrad.

If you want the latest breaking news, I don’t know why you would be looking here. Nevertheless may I suggest following journalist @jonohutchison, who’s stories you can find on New Zealand’s TV3.

If you’re a nerd you will enjoy David Chambers Design, where my friend painstakingly writes beautiful code.

For everything and anything in any way awesome you must subscribe to Frivolity by my favourite Poppy Gallico.

(Tip:  her boyfriend is also a fantastic tweeter.)

For music listen to Dear Time’s Waste, for arts & craft check out Craft-D, and there’s even a site to cover off the most obscure of the things I blog about weddings.

Today we celebrate the soldiers from New Zealand and Australia who risked and lost their lives for our countries.

Over breakfast we got into a debate about whether their service is really the most important thing our country’s people have done to serve the world. Without denying that the ANZACs deserve the recognition they get, there are other New Zealanders have contributed a lot on the world scale and get little more than a face on note (which even kiwis don’t use now that everyone takes eftpos).

Lord Rutherford – Split the atom and although his science has been used for both good and evil, it really is world changing.

Apirana Ngata – A Maori leader who was probably the first “native” person to contribute to a western country’s politics.

Sir Edmund Hillary – Climbed the tallest mountain in the world.

Kate Sheppard – Lead the woman’s suffrage and got the first vote for women around the world. Without the efforts of kiwi women I am sure feminism would have eventually won the right to vote, but you’ve got to admit we did a great job of doing it first!

When you consider that these brave women were the first in the world to get females recognised as citizens in their own right, it is sad to see how little they are celebrated. Other than a face on a $10 note, a relief in Christchurch and a fountain in Auckland City there is not a lot we do to remember them.

There are so many statues in New Zealand of politicians and soldiers and none that I have ever seen have been famous women. Female statues are only found in war memorial sites. They are depicted with robes falling down revealing breast and failing to hold up the weight of an iron flag.

Are there any statues around the world in the likeness of any great women? (Real women from our age, not the Statue of Liberty or Mother Mary). Please link me to them if there are!

Ad concept for New Zealand Tourism which was proposed to run the morning of the volcanic ash story on the SMH story.

Astronaut Robert L. Curbeam Jr. (left) and European Space Agency (ESA) astronaut Christer Fuglesang participate in the mission’s first of three planned sessions of extravehicular activity (EVA) as construction continues on the International Space Station.

Ok not drugs, but rock salt and a note about how awesome P is. They even sent one to the prime minister.

I just don’t understand how someone thought that was a good idea. Also one of their clients in the pharmaceutical industry, surely with that contact they could have done something more creative and effective to raise awareness about NZ’s drug problem. >

This is a lovely animation, and a great ad concept. I really like the NZ Book Council ads, espcially the read at work one which has been taken down.

The problem with this particular spot is somewhere in between Maurice Gee’s writing and the ad being animated in a London studio there has become a great disconnect from what an Auckland train ride actually looks like.

Also from a book called “Going West” why would you pick an extract about going East?

Dick Frizzell is one of my all time favourite artists.

Sleeping Woman (2008) was top of my Birthday present wishlist this year, I didn’t get it however there is potential of an even better present next year…

We’re going to Tuscany for my birthday and just after this Mr Frizzell himself is doing a 2 week painting workshop there! It would be a dream come true to go, however my flights back are shortly after it starts and with the booking being Florence – London – Kuala Lumpar – Melbourne – where ever I am living, it would be a mission to change. Fingers crossed they let me attend the workshop for just the first couple of days!

Actually come to think of it his son Otis Frizzell taught me how to tag, back in my West Auckland days.

The painting on the right (Grocer with Moko, 1992) was the inspiration for my 6th form painting boards. We had to start with Jim Dyne and thank goodness my teacher recommended this as a segway into a painting style I actually like. I’ve had a love affair with his work since then (minus the Colin McCahon inspired recipes series).

When we heard from a friend he was releasing a range of wines we fly back to Auckland and got 6 bottles from the airport, we drank one (the bottle is now used as a vase), but the rest have been reserved for a special occasion amoungst other far more expensive and better tasting, but not nearly as stylish wines (and a bottle or two of CC):

Will hopefully find out soon if I can attend the workshop, and then just have to save up a million dollars to fund it – or maybe I can sell the paintings I do on trademe to cover costs? Haha

The NZ roadtrip…

This ad reminds me so much of home.

Watch the episodes as well, although they are overacted and not quite as amusing.

I like that MR Vintage have put this Muldoon quote on a tshirt, it has been my motto over the last couple of months and it’s even my Skype status. Someone should probably buy me the tshirt.

There’s been some controversy over this photo of Spanish Prime Minister’s goth daughters on a political trip to the USA via gawker >

Kinda similar to someone else who else took their fashionably awkward daughter on a  political trip to the USA recently….

from Dannews >

Watch the news story at 3news >
See the auction on trademe >

Everyone’s talking about the new Air New Zealand naked safety video but I personally think this little facebook ad is better. Coiencidence or not, that is some awesome personalised advertising!

from Rayner Brothers